Accendus Aeris- Rationality.

It could've been just another normal day, everything could have been how it was supposed to be but it wasn't what really happened. No one knew what started it. Some said it was a mysterious mist people could only imagine about. Something that affected the reality in ways no one thought was physically possible, but it did. One moment everything was completely predictable, but somewhere in the universe, the mist affected a single atom which started behaving irrationally.

In those times people thought rationality was something only humans possessed. They were completely unaware of the fact that rationality was what defined the universe. When bodies followed Newton's Laws, scientists called it classical physics. When bodies started behaving randomly, they called it quantum physics. No one knew why things acted the way they did.

Things would have been the same, had not Accendus Aeris accidentally discovered the presence of rationality in electrons. It caused an outrage in those times, no one wanted to accept what he theorized. Finally sanity prevailed, and other scientists started testing his theories for proof. Not more than a month later, his theorems were all proved correct- Accendus was a hero.

It all stems from a single property of the universe- chaos. Thermodynamics is the only law of physics, which has always been correct. Randomness in those days was not really understood by anyone, until Accendus came up with an extremely insightful conclusion. According to him if any object had a tendency of being chaotic at any level- the object would behave rationally. He defined free-will in terms of rationality, and rationality according to him was the scale to measure free will.

The more rational a system, the less bound it is. Free will according to Accendus was nothing but the property of having options, or states of presence- as he called it. He thus formulated a system of measurement which compared the rationality of the system to the average human's rationality. Thus, he came up with the unit of rationality which he defined to be equal to the rationality of a photon.

He formulated several equations and he reached the conclusion that a photon's rationality was the same as a human's but a photon did not understand the concept of free will. According to him, free-will was just a belief and no one was born with it. This statement caused a massive revolt and Accendus had to disappear indefinitely.

No one has yet been able to prove or disprove his statement, but since the time he uttered those words nothing has ever been quite the same.

The Anomaly.

He was never quite like those around him, yet no one suspected. The ground wasn't solid when he stepped over it, neither was it liquid, nor gas. It rippled, but not because it wanted to, it rippled because he had passed over it. It wanted to shout out, wanted to get noticed. Not even the slightest insect noticed the anomaly. The ripple subsided as he walked farther away from it.

Humanity scuttled across the planet unaware of any irregularity, even the planet was unaware because it had stopped paying attention. People had stopped getting irritated, or angry, or jealous, or happy. No one would mind if a mosquito felt like quenching its thirst on their blood, they didn't feel it. He did. Everything around him felt wrong, as if wrong existed to get noticed. Wrong existed to tell him that it was there even when it wasn't supposed to be. He shrugged, he didn't care- no one else did.

He didn't like names, he found them peculiar. He didn't have a name. Maybe he did, but he never had time to inquire, no one did. The ground fluttered, it wanted to say something.

"What is it?", he had no desire to hear the reply.

"They have stopped feeding me. Someone needs to feed me!". It rippled in agony, yet no one felt it.

He passed over. He had heard the planet complain billions of times even when everything continued normally.

"Is that why no one cares?",he thought,"Is that the reason everyone needs to be alive? So that everything keeps being normal."- the planet would have to do with another day of starvation.

People had stopped dying, because no one cared when they did. They liked being cared about, thats why they had used to die. The planet liked it when someone died, it liked to look at their memories- it fed on their memories. That way everyone got to be the part of the world, even after they had died. But now, no one would ever die. The planet was half famished because it had no memories to feed upon.

Plants had stopped being green and the water had stopped flowing. As he passed over a dead leaf, he noticed it had turned green. It fluttered and settled itself on the motionless river. The water noticed the anomaly, it rippled. The ripples carried the leaf as far away as they could take it, but the river resisted. The water was adamant, it wanted to flow.He patiently waited to see what happened. The river coaxed the water into stop flowing. It didn't want to lose it to the seas, for the first time in centuries- it cared.

The Question.

The only time you can kill him is when he reloads,
And when he reloads,
He does it faster than you take to pull the trigger,
And when he pulls the trigger,
He does it faster than you take to blink your eyes,
Do you still want to get into a firefight?

Math for thought.

To everyone who finds mathematics interesting, I ask you this- What drives you? I for myself have no understanding of the word interesting when applied to Mathematics. Why do mathematicians, at least the ones at our college, have to present us a bunch of equations in the most formidable manner possible and expect us to perform miracles with them. It is like playing with abstractness, you know nothing about why would you be possibly solving a problem, you just have to do it for the sake of a solution. That makes me take Math in the most casual sense possible, it is presented as if it is of no use. What do we get out of solving an Integral? Except a sense of deep satisfaction of making an ass out of ourselves. Seriously, that is what I think we do whenever we solve yet another senseless mathematical problem. Okay, Math is used everywhere and we can't possibly do anything without it- I get that point. But why does our college have to turn it into something so uninteresting, people lose their interest in a subject they are actually fond of. It is like presenting a beautiful doll to a tiger cub, it has no idea what it is supposed to do with the doll, it does not understand what beauty is- it just knows one thing, the solution to every problem is clawing the shit out of it.

Spicily simple.

How many of us find something difficult to grasp? I guess it is safe to say that each one of us has experienced something we find baffling, confusing at least. I do not believe in statistics being applied to people. It is like mocking the minority, and I suppose the majority has always been selfish. So what happens when the other guy doesn't understand what you are talking about? Either they stop showing any interest or they politely refuse to be a part of the discussion. But what happens if people start openly revolting to your ideology? I wouldn't go as far to say they are being fanatics, but something of that sort. This world is full of people who can't resist the temptation of fame, money or sex. That is what drives the majority. That is what this world is built upon, a framework of materialism. The Pope lost his say long back when Christianity started being Tyranny. No offense to Christians, but then this is true for any other religion. Why does religion even exist? Unless people suddenly started being devoid of their free will, I do not think there was ever a need of societies of like minded people convinced on hammering their ideals into living walls. Why then do I have to face persecution if I am a heretic? Since when has anybody's opinion mattered more than my opinion? And why does opinion have to have a say anyhow, aren't people allowed to use their own brains anymore?

Theory of experience and randomness.

Okay so here is the thing, I have always been fascinated by entropy. It is one of the most fundamental properties of this universe, and it always increases. The best thing about it is the fact that it is quite simple to understand, at least the part I understand is simple. Entropy is synonymous to randomness, so we can safely assume that the randomness in this world always increases. So what is randomness after all? Randomness is every new information introduced to this universe, every new thought that enters into your mind and every new action someone takes. When you are in love, your brain gets so random you start getting totally illogical ideas. Ideas like marriage, babies, more babies. In a way, more the babies- more is the crap, and more is the randomness. So what does randomness have to do with our lives? It would suffice to say that as we progress in time- whatever we may be after ten years, one thing is for sure- we would have GAINED experience. So the only thing we know which definitely increases with time (except age and time interval between two consecutive sexual intercourses) is our experience. Experience is like the mental counterpart of the physical entropy. Then what does all of this lead us to? Could we possibly apply all the physical laws of entropy to experience? At least in the broader sense. Maybe just maybe, the equations would lead us to something unprecedented- give it a try?

H(a/o)rmonic Love

I know I know, everyone has a heart, everyone can love and I also know that love is a pure and divine truth. Okay, I was bullshitting- I can swear on anyones head I believe none of it. Even on the head of someone I supposedly love, not because I don't believe in love rather because swearing on someone's head doesn't get them dead either. It's like justifying cheating on your girlfriend because having an affair doesn't have anything to do with love. "It was my hormones honey, I swear it was my hormones that made me have sex with her. You know I love you, don't you? With all my heart."- the other 'heart' that is. So when do you decide you don't love someone? When your heart stops beating for your love? I doubt it. I would rather wager on your testosterone glands to decide that for you. The point is, what makes love so different from any other physical phenomena. Actually, what does any feeling have anything to do with the metaphysical? It's all electric impulses, chemical reactions that drive us- so when someone points to your lack of emotions, what do you tell them? I would suggest you take a deep breath, plant a well aimed slap on the guy's 'visage' (pun intended), make an innocent face and blame it on your highly disturbed state of emotions. If they still don't get it, fling a stone at their faces and tell them you aren't 'stone hearted' after all.

When killing yourselves doesn't help.

There has to be someone in our lives who no matter what time of the day it is, no matter what's happening around them, is always depressed. I normally try to avoid these poor souls, they should be left alone after all. What if depression suddenly becomes a fashion and every time you want to impress your girlfriend, you would have to slit your wrist or try jumping off your apartment? You know what the worst part is? In the dark, you have to go with the flow. It is light which gives you opportunities, darkness just improbabilities. When everyone around you starts to commit suicide, it is going to catch up with you. So when we say evil breeds evil, it is nature working itself towards chaos. And if you are trying to stop that from happening, you are going against nature. Entropy is the ultimate truth of this universe. No matter what, chaos will always increase. However disciplined you try to be, the inherent predictability of discipline would be your undoing. So when someone tells you there is no evil without good, they are probably trying to be sympathetic. Because it is evil which is fundamental to the fabric of reality and we just try to make it look the other way. When this world put a fear in our hearts, set us against chaos- they had already started building a foundation destined to betray.

So what's the real deal?

Have you ever had silly questions come to your mind? They don't really mean anything because they either have answers which are too improbable or there is no reason to even have an answer to them on the first place. Questions like- Why do I exist? What would the end of universe look like? How would I see myself if I were someone else? So what's the deal with them anyhow? Too many questions, yet not many answers unless you start adding God after every word in your reply. Then you ask yourselves the ultimate question, something that would solve almost every cause of war, terrorism, fanaticism- Does God exist? Now why doesn't the human population devote all its time to find out if God really exists after all, because that is one big reason which seems to be driving people crazy. I actually find it insane. People should find it insane as well. If you think its normal to be discussing about a thing you made up on the first place, you are probably a fanatic. Maybe you like Hitler, maybe you are a Nazi. Who cares? Well you do, and with almost a hundred percent probability you believe in what you wish to believe. Why then do we have to be afraid of terrorists? If we are so sure of our beliefs why do we have to be so disrespectful to others' beliefs, however radical? After all, when man made God, He had no idea who had made man.

Turning towards sentences, more about pretenders.

This world will never be complete if improbable starts turning into impossible. Pretense is one way to let the world run chaotically, as nature wants it. There is always someone you know who tries to pretend to be someone they are not. Normally, when it gets too irritating to bear them, you grab a fork and hurl it right through their eyes- and then you end up in a mental facility. Anger is the most basic emotion, the most fundamental and the most ancient. Sadly, people who tend to display anger publicly aren't very good at socializing. The irony here is that humans are essentially animals pretending to be something they are not. Why? Just to be accepted by the society. And then it is us who send people to mental hospitals and prisons for being immoral. Is not morality a pretense? Why then do we point fingers at people who act as someone else? Is it our own conscience trying to tell us that we are at fault after all. Wearing a shroud to camouflage our reality and lowering the hood to mask the raw world is like schizophrenia; an illusion; an unreal world we have created for ourselves. If you still don't find it justified, you should be the one in a nuthouse. And the next time a neighbor hates you because you ate their cat, file a lawsuit against them for violating animal rights.

Aargh!

I never quite understood why some people like seeing others in agony. Since I am nearly always surrounded by a bunch of sadists, I have started getting immune to their vibes, so to say. So what could be the possible reason for a person to suddenly grab someones neck and hurl them into an approaching train? People nearly always want to attain a certain level of satisfaction, on the cost of others' satisfaction if thats how they can get it. Some of them have a tendency to tell people on their faces, not in very subtle terms, that their life is crap. What to do when you encounter a creature adamant on making you suffer? One of the possible actions you could take would be to punch them on their nuts, certainly not civilized, but effective by all means. Some of us try to repel the sadist population by projecting ourselves as someone satisfied- whatever be the conditions. Trust me, it is not easy. So why doesn't everyone turn into a masochist to make everyone happy? It is the tough decisions we have to take as a challenge, murdering someone is a tough decision- but not for someone who likes killing people. When did the world turn into a selfish organism gorging on it's own parts to survive? Ironically, when the carnivores don't find anything for dinner, they'd still have themselves to feast upon- Masochists do exactly the same.

Voila!

I have seen people who would go to any limits to prove that they are better than you. I constantly try proving to them that they are not. Did you notice the double negative, cleverly disguised to make myself look good to everyone. For those who did not understand, proving that someone isn't better than me makes me someone who's trying to prove he is better than the others. Most of us fail to grasp the enormity of the situation, I being one of them. Calling someone a hypocrite and then being a hypocrite yourself is like getting hanged for killing two people; no matter how many people you kill, all the jury can do is kill you once. Once you are deemed bad in the eyes of the public, any action you take, however innocent, would be seen in the light of your established character. Unless you find such a situation to be pleasurable, you should stop making an ass out of yourself. An intelligent criminal doesn't want to be famous and rich, he wants to be rich and famous. For someone who intends on getting rich through fame, the latter part should better be for something people find pleasurable. Getting famous for a bank heist wouldn't get you rich, not for long anyhow. Rather, getting rich after robbing a bank, escaping unnoticed, and donating a huge sum to charity would surely make you famous. People are naive, and lazy. They don't want to be bothered into finding out what a person really is, they would rather satisfy themselves with what you project yourself to be. Everything is about pretending, even when people keep asking you to stop being what you aren't. Because everyone in this world has something to hide, and when you ask someone to stop pretending- you are being a hypocrite. And calling someone a hypocrite and then being a hypocrite yourself is like getting hanged for killing two people; no matter how many people you kill, all the jury can do is kill you once.

Ooooh!

Surprises aren't very surprising, I mean you can always expect surprises. So what is a surprising surprise after all? When you are thinking about getting a new shoelace for yourself and somebody tells you that you won a Mercedes, it's surprising. When you are out there hunting for rabbits and out of nowhere a tiger rips your toe off, its surprising. Finding your son in bed with his best friend, cuddling him, naked, without underwear, cuddling yet again, naked, without underwear,still cuddling, without underwear (getting boring isn't it?) is something you could have always expected. I can almost picturize you yawning in such a situation. But the fact is, you always knew stuff like this could happen, you just did not know when and where. So I ask you again, what could be a surprise you never expected? If you expect every possible event to happen, I think you would encounter very boring surprises after all.Watching an alien tap dance would be a surprising surprise but that is an extremely improbable event. So, doesn't everything add up to this- Surprises come in many shapes and sizes but it is the sizes which don't fit that make you lose your eyebrows. Life in itself is a surprise waiting to be felt, but it is us that treat life to be just like every second normal thing. It is time you start raising your eyebrows whenever someone makes you happy, when someone gets sad because you said something bad, when you get goosebumps on hearing a beautiful song. Because surprises are all that count when you try to contemplate the mysteries of life, without surprises there is nothing left to contemplate about.

Phew :D

Ever had a tiresome day? If I tell you it wasn't a rhetoric question you'd probably want to slap me for that. So what do people normally do when they are tired? There could be almost infinite ways to get yourself relaxed, some of them pretty mundane and others totally crazy. The point being that no one wants to be stuck in a loop, machines however find it pretty amusing and so do dogs- chasing my tail doesn't feel quite interesting to me, maybe because I don't have a tail. Getting drunk is one way to forget your troubles but then its temporary and its something anyone would do. Jumping off a building on the other hand is totally crazy but a permanent solution if you die by the end of your journey to the ground floor. So why doesn't everyone start swallowing rat poison when they are too bored of their lives? Maybe because they don't want a permanent solution after all, maybe because at the end of the day they know that boredom is a part of life. It's like skipping parts of life you don't like and enjoying the better parts in slow motion. So in the end when you know you are going to die, all you want to show is a life with the boring parts you tried to cover up. As if you made mess of a painting and because you didn't feel proud of certain parts you hid them with white paint. Unless you are a very selfish person, I would suggest you scratch off the white paint and start living what you deserve.

Shush!

Rather distressing to note that not everyone on this planet suffers from civility. Inherently, everyone here would love to see a colorful painting but then black and white are colors too. Life can never be explained without analogies and it is here that we start comparing it with the most unrelated things. I take a painting most of the time because I like colors. Cutting out the bad parts of your life could be one approach to making it happy but then isn't happiness relative? Everyone keeps on saying that there is no good without evil, but no one says the opposite- There is no evil without good. So, why don't we start eradicating all good from this planet isn't that the way it is supposed to work? Unless there is a huge flaw in the analogy, I suppose it is okay to let all the serial killers, rapists, thieves and psychopaths do as they please. Maybe then there will be some kind of balance where morality would be justified by both the sides. And the next time someone sticks a fork into a guys eye because they refused to lend them money, the jury could stick a fork into anyone they pleased.

Ugh :|

Not many of us like studying, at least don't like to be ordered to. So how come everything around us got to be the way it is now? There must have been generations before generations of students who never wanted to be commanded to make use of their brains. Seems like stuff always turns out to be opposite of what people want, generally it does. So centuries earlier when people did like studying after all, people started thinking that studying wasn't very interesting for some reason. But they never thought that millennia earlier no one even knew what books were and here they were hating books. Doesn't everything boil down to one single trait of humans- dissatisfaction. It is like a constantly pricking thorn, no matter which way you bend it is always going to hurt. So the next time you find it boring to handle a book, Stop. If you are a smart person, you will probably not want to fail. Let your mind play its tiresome tricks and let it settle down to a single objective. After it knows what it wants, you'd probably be reading a book you never wanted to.

Awww!

One of these cute kittens your neighbor owns somehow makes their way up to your room. As for myself, I wouldn't mind listening to them purring and cuddling them for a while. But you know what the problem with every living thing in the world is- change. Maybe nature makes every newborn cute, for reasons of self preservation. But does any creature except humans identify cuteness? Or maybe they do but they still don't find it troubling to ingest a sweet little kitten. A question here arises but it doesn't really mean anything. Would we love a baby if it looked like an eighty year old man? What is love then, hormones for us and some kind of mental phenomenon for the baby's mother, I suppose. They say a mother would love their child whatever it looks like. So is our love any different from the mind's response to a cute kitten? Too many questions here but they don't matter much, do they? It is only our selfish minds that concur after we are done wondering what makes sense and what not. After all, the mind is the only faculty we use for thinking and all this time we have tried to distance love from our mind by calling it our heart has only led to the belief that love is something pure. But self deception is one thing our mind is good at, isn't love then the biggest deception after death?

Ow!

Mutilation is not everyones cup of tea, well it depends upon the context of mutilation too. I wouldn't mind grabbing a slice of cake and smashing it over my friends face, as a matter of fact anyone could do that- its fun and its harmless. Slicing up human beings on the other hand doesn't quite appease the appetite of a normal individual. People could be okay with decapitating hens or- cocks for that matter, but there have always been degrees. So where do we draw a line between cutting cakes and cutting people? Cutting has always been fun and so has been putting stuff on fire. That doesn't mean we start slicing people up and setting them on fire, but why ? Just because you feel like turning your stomachs inside out after you are done experimenting with a corpse  is no reason to outlaw murdering people. And when we plead in a court to sentence a psychopath to death aren't we being the biggest hypocrites? Just because hanging a guy on a noose did not make you squirm ? Or was it because he had killed so many people already so of course justice would dictate killing him to honor their memories.

Eh?

If you keep a diary for everything important that has ever happened to you, I might kill you for that. Ironically, your death would be the most important thing for you but that's what your diary wouldn't have. Unless you want to die an unsatisfied man, I suggest you stop doing that. Now this is what I'd call the "Eh moment". Someone says a totally idiotic thing and there you are wondering what made them say something so foolish on the first place. Even more ironic is the fact that this is the part of the conversation you would probably remember. We remember our life as a string of catchy moments, its like missing the black and white parts of a colored photograph. So why do we keep a diary of things we consider important? Important is the one percent part and the rest is the unimportant part we tend to forget. As I keep talking about irony, important is what you would have remembered anyhow and that is what you choose on putting into your diary. Kind of foolish when the unimportant part is what you should have written down- to make sure that even if you forgot the details,you could always take a look at your diary. An "Eh moment", isn't it?

Okay?

Not everybody likes sarcasm, I do. A moment passes as I am writing this and I try to decide whether adding a personal touch to everything makes sense. If I had any idea why I wondered about what I did, I would rather wonder about everything and be done with it. But then I decide personal touch is important after all, because if it weren't, people would wonder who wrote it. Now that made me stop thinking for a while because I wondered whether people wanted to know about the author of a book or the book itself. Ironically enough, people despise sarcasm while they push themselves into situations which are far more sarcastic than say, drowning fishes. Not everybody likes sarcasm, I do.

Crap!

All of us get these impulses to do stuff- crazy stuff, funny stuff, idiotic stuff, dumb stuff, just anything which we wouldn't have normally done. Impulses could lead us to the best of what we are good at and best doesn't always have to be right. I haven't ever been a subtle person, I never tried to be. But then there was this idea which somehow buried itself deep inside my mind, just like inception. It doesn't feel very convincing at first but then you start getting an urge to give it a try. Watching movies isn't a big deal, it never is. But when you watch a movie which starts playing with your mind, somehow puts you in a world of its own where rules don't matter, you start feeding on your urges.

I wish everything wasn't this complicated, and then I watched this film which somehow made my wish true. The feeling however momentary was like the initial spark and all those longings which my mind had so carefully put aside started rebelling. I read a book and after I was done reading it, a thought unrelated to anything in the book started hammering my skull, desperate to get noticed among all the other totally insane ideas trying to make themselves felt, significant but insane.

And however we may choose to confuse destiny with coincidence, it is our will that turns them into reality. What is destiny but a huge chain of impulses that ultimately lead to what should have happened. But we chose what should have happened and when it did we had no idea about the boring day several months earlier when our brains decided that this was what we had wanted all along.